Mourir un peu, mon amour.

I save myself in stealing souls,

As many as I can sweep up in one fierce night

A bright set of eyes, a lock of silken hair

Wrapped in boxes on my shelf

Neglected but forever loved

Always in their place when it’s done-

Clean your room, my mother said

Dust it well, make your bed

I would rather be a speechless beast

And watch in blank curiosity

The carnival below the hill-

Pulsing, blinding lights

Warped music in the wind-

Staying on the path left by unnamed ancestors

Only doing what they should,

Pacing through time in the unlit woods

But hear me howl,

I bay for blood and lap it from outstretched hands

Never filled and ever thirsty

Begging for another scrap

I will starve to death

Don’t you believe me? 

How I sing when love is in my throat

Stolen from pretty boys and girls

Too pure with souls not yet unfurled

I am better than bad, but not much

Split in two like Solomon’s babe-

Mother, save me from myself

Or I will die on the sword’s judicial edge

Black-and-white, yes no yes no

Oh my god, fuck me slow

I give so little and take it all

But I will never confess to my victims,

For every death is beautiful

In a vast and shattered glory

When it makes that ocean sound

Of constant waves crashing down

Disjointed miracles in my own brain

Lead me to believe we are all shamans

Testing our own limits of belief and understanding

But I want 

         Your drugs

                  Your chants

                            Your spirit

Let me suck the marrow from your bones

And wear your white teeth around my neck

The birds can have your hair for nests-

I will eat the heart

As many as I can cut from chests

Left open to my knife

That sings gentle and low on the whetstone

I love you          I love you

And all my sweethearts feel like the sea-

Wrap me in waves of salt and serpents

Pulsing together and pulled by the moon

To fertility and inevitable decay

Spilling over with blood from the cup

A spectacle of blatant tragedy, 

Whipped to froth and frenzy

A thousand fractured splinters,

And here I thought they glittered

Scattered through the universe

But they are only dead bits cast-off as gifts

Here- take me, I cannot sell myself

To any bidder, for I am priceless

Only worth worshipping piece from piece

A neverending gluttonous feast

Take the poison now and die unspent

Or fight for every taste less soothing,

Ask for more until you fall into your grave

The last bed of the well-rested son

Always up early to greet the morning through the trees-

Sleep, sleep some more with me

Hear that steady roar again?

The thumping of the death drum

That drives us to the cliff-

I live for that flowing blood and wet skin

The sounds of despair in any delight

Knowing that’s one less sweet grape to eat,

An empty skin left at my feet

The ambient sound of extinction

Sleepy-slow as a lullaby

Filling that ache behind my eyes,

Rushing in and out of open lips

Too bitter to speak, too dear to kiss

How many nights have I spent like this?

Visions opened on my own deep fear

Of too many loves and not enough years


-November 24, 2015, 11:30 pm-